Does God Love Rapists?

It is silly when we think things like:
God doesn’t love the rapist during the act of rape, as though God’s anger and justice and judgement could ever outweigh his love.
God identifies with the rapist as surely as he identifies with the rape-victim.
He understands the thoughts and feelings of the rapist, the circumstances and rational that lead the rapist to committing the act.
And God justifies him!
Just as surely as he justifies you or me.
God justifies sinners in the midst of sin.

He identifies with every lie we tell ourselves.
He understands the hurt that causes us to respond the way we respond.
He knows the reasons as though they were his own reasons –
And he forgives the reasons.
He allows them.
He loves the rapist during the act of rape.

This is not to say he doesn’t love the victim.
He feels every ounce of the victim’s pain and suffering.
He experiences his/her anger and trauma to the nth degree – perhaps even more than the victim him/herself does!
He intimately knows exactly what we go through whenever we are abused.
And he justifies every response, every feeling, every thought:
Completely accepted.

God is within them both: the rapist and the victim.
He loves them to their core and his core entirely.

Does this mean there won’t be a reckoning?
There is always a reckoning – whether in this life or the next.
But the reckoning is not between humanity and God.
God is at peace with the perpetrator and the victim.
There is no separation.
The reckoning is between the offender and the offended.
Both must fully identify with each other, just as God has fully identified with them as individuals.
The victim must enter the mind, will and emotion of the abuser.
The perpetrator must enter the mind, will and emotion of the victim.
They must so entirely understand each other, that no forgiveness can be left unsaid or undone.

Just as surely as Hitler will experience the pain of each and every Jew who suffered in his war, the Jews will also experience the pain that motivated Hitler.
As surely as Ted Bundy will identify with the terror of his rape and murder victims, they will identify with the feelings that drove him to act as he did.
If we think that God doesn’t love Hitler and Bundy, and that he cannot forgive their mistakes, then God can not love you or me or forgive our mistakes.
Because if I lived Hitler’s life, if I were in his mind and reasoned the way he reasoned and experienced all he experienced, I would have done exactly what he did, simply because he did it.
What Bundy was capable of; I am capable of.
Because we are all human.
We all have the same capacity for darkness and light;
Love and hate.

For God to forgive even one offence means he must by nature forgive all offences.
For God to justify one sinner, means he has justified all sinners.
There is no special treatment because one person is more penitent than another, or one resisted the urge to become Hitler while another did not.
We all fail to be sorry and resist evil at some time or another.
This is what makes us equal.

If God truly is love, then everyone is equally loved by God in the midst of any and all evil.
This is the offence of the gospel!
This is the severity of God’s love!
This is hell and heaven and everything in between.
That we would all be as completely unified with one another,
As he is with us!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Permission to be Happy

I’m taking a subject at Bible College called “Theological Reflection,” which involves pondering where I am at in my life theologically, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.

Partly because of this subject, I’ve actually had to think a lot about how happy I am in my life right now … and how scary that is.

I was a pessimist growing up, with a deeply serious, melancholy personality. I often felt that my friendships were shallow and that most people didn’t know the real me. In fact, I didn’t know the real me. I was constantly trying to run away from the guilt and shame of my past imperfections. I even picked up and moved interstate as a young adult, in an attempt to make myself feel better, only to learn that all my problems came with me.

I suffered from depression for the first 4 years of adulthood. I didn’t think that my dreams would ever come true, that I would ever get married, that I would have the deep relationships I craved, or that I could actually be my true self. I was torn between wearing a façade of being a near-perfect, Christian woman, trapped in guilt and legalism; and the inherent belief that God’s love and grace has to be bigger than my failure, and for that matter, everyone else’s failures.

Then my mum got sick when I was 24, and I was still trying to find my feet as an adult in this world. No longer depressed per se, but still struggling with my dreams and my identity, with being single, and with trying to be a good Christian. Mum was sick for 4 years before she passed away and I spent those years caring for her, meanwhile working as hard as I could toward my dreams, writing books, trying to find the perfect guy to marry, building a piano teaching business, leading worship at church and pulling up the ranks of the worship team. Mum and I rubbed up against each other (as iron sharpens iron), and both started to deal with unresolved childhood issues. This in turn challenged what we believed about God and we both started to accept deep down that God is all-loving and all-forgiving.

Mum passed away when I was 28 and things in my life changed monumentally again. I not only lost my mum, but my entire theological foundation shifted as I became a Universalist-Christian. I changed churches and lost too many friends to count, including some that I never thought I would ever lose and still grieve over today. I failed a piano exam, and decided to prioritise my writing dreams over my musical aspirations. And I challenged myself to start writing publically about what I believe. Needless to say, my twenties were filled with struggle, grief, singleness and loneliness.

But then I hit thirty and I started to feel very secure in myself. I was no longer fighting who I really was, I was breaking down the facades. I met a man and started building a healthy relationship with him. I got married. My friends expanded to include my family-in-law and so many new relationships.

So here I am: content. And it scares me. I know what it’s like to be depressed and anxious. I know what it’s like to feel lonely and endlessly single. I know what it is like to grieve death. I know that things can change very suddenly for better or worse. Being happy, healthy, hopeful and content are fairly new to me and I’m somewhat afraid of losing these feelings. But I don’t want to live in fear, because it taints the blessings I have right now.

I also struggle with guilt. I feel guilty that not everyone is going through a season of happiness and contentment right now. I feel guilty for flaunting it, but I also feel as though I might burst if I don’t share it. Sometimes I feel guilty that I couldn’t make my mum’s life happier. As her oldest child I felt responsible for her happiness and often blamed myself if she was unhappy. So it is difficult to feel happy in light of the suffering that I saw in my Mum’s life at different stages – this I struggle with the most.

That’s why I need to give myself permission to be happy. Permission to bask in this season of contentment. Permission to pause and say thank you. Thank you to God for bringing me here. Thank you to my husband for loving me. Thank you to my family for accepting me. Thank you to the friends who have been around through so much of this, and to the newer ones who enrich my life.

And thank you to myself. For not dying. For not giving up. For pushing against the chains that bound me so that I could break free and become more truly myself. But even as I thank myself, I know I am really thanking God–the universal love–who lives in me.

What is Christian-Universalism?

There are three main schools of thought in Western Christianity: Calvinism, Arminianism & Universalism.

Calvinism – Calvinists emphasise the sovereignty of God. God is the Almighty; he’s all powerful, in control of everything and what he wills will be done. God predestines or pre-determines what is going to happen in our lives. The idea of predestination in Calvinism extends to what is known as “double predestination”. God chooses who will be saved and be in heaven with him. Therefore, God not only knows who is going to hell, but also predestines those people to hell on purpose. Jesus’ death on the cross only applies to the elect (those predestined to be saved), not to the reprobate (those predestined to damnation). This is a very commonly held, traditional belief in the American Church. It is not as common amongst Australian Christians, but it still exists here. In fact I had a Calvinist Bible College lecturer over the summer. I have a huge respect for Calvinism because its understanding of the sovereignty and predestination of God is very Biblical.

Arminianism – Most of the Australian Church tends to be more Arminian than Calvinist and Arminianism is strong in America as well. Arminians emphasise free will. Human beings were created with the capacity to choose to follow God, or not. Human beings are held responsible for all of their actions–God is not culpable–and if they wind up in hell, it’s their own fault. Jesus’ death on the cross was for the salvation of the entire world because God loves us. But if we reject salvation during our lifetime on this earth, there is nothing God can do about it. Arminians tend not to believe that God sends people to hell, but that people choose to go to hell by disobeying him and doing as they please. Some Arminians believe that God is the one punishing people in hell, but these days a lot more Arminians will say that hell is separation from God i.e. that God is not present there at all, and therefore people in hell are anguished because they regret their choices and are tormented by the devil and his angels / demons. I have a great deal of respect for Arminianism because I grew up in it. I agree that human beings have a will and I believe that Jesus’ death applies to everyone. I also commend the Arminian emphasis on the love of God and his ardent desire to save us.

Universalism – In my opinion, Universalism takes the best of Calvinism–the sovereignty and predestination of God–and the best of Arminianism–free will, salvation available to all and the love of God–and combines them. God is love and desires to save the entire world through Jesus. But human beings have a will and rebel against God, sometimes even rejecting him (or their concept of him) for their entire earthly lives. Yet, God is sovereign over salvation and has predestined all to be saved, so even though he works within the construct of the human will, God’s will is more powerful and he will save everyone in the end.

One of the most notable differences between Universalist Christians and Arminian & Calvinist Christians, is the belief in salvation after death. There are no verses in the Bible that indicate that our earthly life is the cut-off point for salvation. Hebrews 9:27 says “man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgement.” Yes I still believe that, but this verse does not say that there can be no salvation after judgement. In fact, 1 Peter 4:6 says “the gospel was preached even to those who are now dead.” The only reason to preach the gospel to the dead … is to save them.

There are different types of Universalists just like there are different denominations of Arminians & Calvinists. Some Universalists are Preterists and believe that judgement day has already happened and there is no futuristic judgement day. Some Universalists have rejected the Bible and simply follow their hearts. Some Universalists believe that God is the universe and that after death, human beings become part of the God-universe. Some Universalists are more monotheistic or even atheistic than Trinitarian, others believe that all roads lead to God and Jesus is not the only way. Some Universalists don’t believe the cross was necessary, others don’t believe in sin, many are unsure whether the devil and demons exist.

I love and respect my Universalist brothers and sisters who have different beliefs to me, just as I love and respect my Calvinist & Arminian brothers and sisters. But I want to let you know that there is a Christian-Universalism that is arising today that is very Biblical, absolutely Trinitarian and Christocentric. This means that we hold to the inspiration of Scripture, we believe that God is triune and that Jesus is the only way to the Father. I personally believe in a futuristic judgement day and I believe in hell when it is defined as the refiner’s fire. I still believe in the power of prayer, I’ve been baptised in water and spirit, I take communion, I worship like a Pentecostal, and I personally have no qualms with the concepts of sin, the devil, angels and demons.

I do, however, reject “penal substitutionary atonement” which means I do not believe that Jesus’ death was a punishment. And I reject traditional doctrines of hell, which interestingly are as much disputed as any other doctrine: some believe hell is eternal conscious torment, some of those believe God is responsible for the torture, others blame the devil, some believe hell is eternal separation from God, others believe hell is annihilation–complete and final death.

I fully accept and embrace as supreme, the doctrine of the love of God. God is love. God’s mercy is his love. God’s justice is his love. God’s judgement is his love. God’s wrath is his love. God’s hellfire is his love.

This year I intend to write much more about my beliefs as a Universalist-Christian. I want to compose a systematic theology that I hope will be helpful to Christians who are transitioning from Calvinism & Arminianism to Universalism. I understand that there are over 7 billion people on planet earth and that we all believe differently. What I believe is not exceptional, it’s just another set of beliefs. But I am compelled to share it because I have seen how much influence one person’s theology can have–for better or worse. Calvin and Luther changed the course of Church history during the reformation. Maybe some of what they believed was helpful to others and maybe some of it was not. But if they hadn’t said it, I would never have become who I am today. If God wills it, I pray I will have the same kind of ripple effect on the world and play my part just as they did–for better or worse.

If you have any burning questions right now, please message me privately or email

What is the Point of Heaven?

So what’s the point of going to heaven?

I once had a very close friend whom I regularly met up with for coffee. She became like a spiritual mother to me. We went to the movies together, visited the beach, she cooked for me, I cooked for her, we laughed and cried together, shared secrets with one another, swapped books, gossiped, shopped etc. I thought we would be friends for life.

I also thought that I could tell her when I was angry with her. So one day, I expressed my anger in a frustrated text message, I was trying to be honest and I wanted to talk it through. She was so hurt and upset that within 3 months she stopped talking to me altogether. We lost our friendship.

The loss of this relationship has grieved my heart for three years. I’ve apologised, sent text messages, letters and postcards, but to not avail. I struggle in the month of May because it’s the month I lost my mum (RIP) and a year later my spiritual mum who had become one of my closest ever friends.

However, I believe my relationship with this friend will be reconciled in heaven. I believe that she will understand why I was angry, what I was thinking and feeling, and that I never meant to hurt her to the extreme that I apparently did. She will understand the feelings of rejection I have experience since losing her; my regret and sadness.

And I will understand why she did what she did, how she felt, how deeply I wounded her or triggered past wounds from other people. I’ll experience her perspective of the situation and she’ll experience mine. Then we will embrace and cry and let it all go. We will mutually forgive all the hurt, loss and misunderstanding. We will love each other in ways we were not capable of on earth with our limited, selfish minds.

When God says he will wipe all the tears from our eyes, it’s because there WILL be a lot of crying when we get to heaven. We will have conversations with every person we ever came into contact with or influenced to the minutest degree. And even the people we never met who were alive before or after us – we will see the ripple effect of our lives on every other life. We will reconcile every hurt and failing. We will fully understand why our parents seemed distant, why our friends seemed to reject us, why our children seemed to grow up and leave us… We will understand the “other sides” of every story. We will know each other completely, and be experienced fully for who we truly are.

There will be a lot of forgiving in heaven, and all the pain of life will be reviewed through the lens of redemption. All the friends we’ve lost will be gained back – broken relationships healed and restored. Every person who deleted us off facebook and every person we deleted – all together again, like a reunited family.

Heaven is not really about streets of gold and castles in the sky. It’s about relationships. Heaven isn’t blissful because we’re suddenly all wealthy and immortal. Heaven is blissful because there is so much love there. No room for hate. No miscommunication. Pure acceptance of one another. Complete understanding of our pasts.

I want to go to heaven because there will be no more heartache there. No more relational suffering. And now that I understand that that’s what heaven is all about, I live my life knowing that whatever rejections I think I’m experiencing on earth are only temporary.

The division in my family because an Uncle comes out as gay and his brother doesn’t want to communicate with him – that will inevitably come to an end. The facebook friends who have called me a heretic or pressed the block button and pretended they never new me – we will laugh about it in heaven. The experience of separation in relationships, emotionally, spiritually, physically – it will all be done away with in heaven and there will be NO SEPARATION.

Knowing this, frees me to be myself. I can be more honest about my emotions, my sexuality, my theology – because even if I’m hated for these things in this life, everything will be okay on the other side.


Rejection isn’t real.

Love is real.

Hatred can only ever be temporary.

Reconciliation will last forever.

Accusations are weak.

True understanding will only breed acceptance.


“Love always protects

Love always trusts

Love always hopes

Love always perseveres

Love never fails

But where there are prophecies

They will cease…

Where there is knowledge

It will pass away

For we know in part

And we prophecy in part

But when completeness comes

What is in part disappears

For now we see only a poor reflection

As in a mirror

Then we shall see face to face

Now I know in part

Then I shall know fully

Even as I am fully known

And now these three remain:

Faith, hope and love

But the greatest of these is


1 Corinthians 13:7-13