I am Pro-Life and Pro-Choice.
I know this is a confusing statement for many, but I’m of the opinion that we should save as many babies as we can, while also allowing for the fact that some women need medical terminations or abortions to save their own lives, to prevent their baby from suffering a horrible death and/or life, or perhaps to prevent their own suffering.
In my first blog, I wrote about a woman whose baby would have died a painful death if it was born into our world. In this blog, I am sharing the story of a mother who would have died if the baby within her had continued to grow. Both of these mothers had medical terminations in order to prevent or cut short suffering and death. Both are Christians. These women are very brave souls who had to make tough decisions in situations where there is no possibility of a happy ending.
How Abortion Saved a Woman’s Life:
A 35yr old mother of five fell pregnant with baby number six. She loved being a mum and was happy to have another child, but there was one small problem. Her fifth child had been delivered via caesarean section and the next baby’s placenta was pushing against the scar tissue and prying open the surgical wound as the baby and the placenta grew.
At 10 weeks gestation, the mother started bleeding. She presented to the hospital and upon initial examination the doctor said she would likely have a miscarriage. She was told to come back in a week if she hadn’t miscarried and was still bleeding. It was lucky she came back a week later, because the results of the next ultrasound were much more serious. It was only a matter of time before this woman’s placenta would rupture and she would bleed to death, killing both her and the baby.
This woman was advised to have an emergency hysterectomy. In fact, unless she refused to continue medical care, there would be no leaving that hospital without one, because that’s what the doctors deemed necessary to save her life. Of course, having a hysterectomy while pregnant means forfeiting that baby’s life. The baby, the placenta, and the entire uterus all had to be removed to save this mother from the brink of death. A mother of five children. Five children who desperately needed her to stay alive. But even if there were no other children, this woman would still deserve and have the right to live.
This was one of those impossibly tragic situations where there is no saving the baby without saving the mother but there is no saving the mother without letting go of the baby. This poor woman didn’t even have time to process what was happening. She barely had a decision to make because there were no alternatives, except death. This was a no-brainer for the doctors involved.
But for the mother, it was the hellish process of going from carrying a perfectly healthy baby one minute, to not only losing that baby, but also losing the possibility of any future babies:
“They operated on me that morning. Hysterectomy at 35. Healthy baby gone. They didn’t find out for me if the baby was a girl or a boy. No offer of counselling. No walk through of aftercare except a print out on an A4 sheet. I was put in the ward for women whose hysterectomies were due to cervical cancer. They were happy to have theirs. I was just numb about it for a while. Sad to have lost a healthy baby, but the choice was out of my hands.”
How devastating to be offered no support after a medical termination, which is technically a form of abortion. This was a loss, a grief, a death, and yet no one seemed to treat it this way. Being judged for it—as though you have done something wrong—only adds salt to the wound. And yet broad-sweeping generalisations about abortion being wrong, mean this woman has to hide or experience other people’s judgement.
I want to live in a world where women are free to talk about medical terminations, abortions, miscarriages, still birth and so on. There has been too much silence, judgment and a lack of support for too long. Let’s be the change.
Share this blog, and let the women in your life know that you are willing to listen without judging them. Offer your support. I would also love the opportunity to hear from anyone who wants to share their story.
Email me at: email@example.com
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I am Pro-Life and Pro-Choice.